Path

The road on which I walk
Is seemingly even and straight
Sometimes a crossing comes up
But it’s always fairly safe

Those that encounter windings
Holes and sideway haunts
Luring the wary of mind
With body towards the unknown

It is those that tell tales of
Strange new worlds and creatures
We listen and imagine sometimes
Long for an adventure or two

But the day rarely comes
That we the ones bound to home
And hearth set out to search
For the weird, ways and windings

The unknown is not to be seen
By all who walk this earth
Only the ones blessed perhaps
With strength and courage endure

It’s their role in the ways
Of world and heart to bring
Tidings to the rest of the folk
Not so eager to walk beyond


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)

Anomaly

Sunflowers on the wall
Snow, cold outside
Hot cup of tea in my hands
Paper piled up around
All calling for attention
All fits into my life
Just the usual things...
But thoughts wander
Something's different
And I wonder when
Was the last time
That I saw him...
And why... he died yesterday.


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)

When Leaves Fall

A single red flower
In the snow
Lively flocks of birds
Still around
They sit on the gates
At times
And watch the humans
Rush by
Never seeing the icy
Glint
In the quiet water

Nature’s confusion
When the leaves fall
Down
On the carpet of gold
When beauty and life have 
Faded
Likewise my spirit 
All deprived 
In a way
Of knowledge
Like winter’s grasp

Here and now
All turns to 
Grey 
And all left seen through 
A haze I watch 
The leaf lose
Its insignificant life
Floating 
In a slight breeze
Then lost
Within existence

The red flower withers
One 
More night
Of dreams and frost
And soon it will be 
Dead forever…


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)

A Glance…

Density in fire abides
Like heat in the ice on 
The surface of the lake
Snow melts away, always
In my hands
Like time, always
Slips by unnoticed

Little white flowers grow
In the spaces between tiles of
The back garden terrace
Snow falls softly
A soft white layer forms
On the branch
Beside my window

The scent of spring and still
Cold air hurts my skin
The tree cut down
During its winter regression
Newspaper tells of
Needless suffering… and stardom
Images grind into my mind

It makes me sick, dizzy
Try not to read anymore
Everyone arguing everywhere
I block out everything
Except there’s a note, and another
They’ll remind me, ever
Of blue and yellow

And strength within
The snow feels good
Pure like strange new love
Or new vistas
Internal, in landscape or dream
The painting on the wall
Stares back at me


(Arifa Isabel - February 2005)

My Angel

Sitting by the seaside
I see my feelings on the waves
Loneliness stings my eyes
Like the salt in the air
Never future, never past
Just this moment is my everything
This is my life, cherished and dear

Your heart is mine
Always will be yet you’re there
Mine is yours forever silently
My angel my dearest death

No words no thoughts no regrets
This is it, this was my life
Happiness a rule to live by
Eternity like this is destiny
Never future, never past
Just this moment in my heart
This was my life, my everything

My mind is still, content
Just water in a pond, motionless
Dearest angel, flying to death
Residing in my soul, your soul

When all that remains
Is our path through the darkness
Leading to our dawn
Of reckoning…
Never future, never past
Just this moment in my mind
This is my life, my heart.


(Arifa Isabel - January 2005)

Heaven Relived / In Death Divine

Silver coat gleams fresh as air
Uncarved as new-grown birch
Unscorched by internal fire
Stag bears its crown and leaps
Ice crystals glittering on the rock
Shards fly and cut deep into earth

But Lord of Forests rules
Amid moonlight and starlight
On those two cold autumn nights
In gloom of entering daybreak
Sleepless world unites to daytime haze
Rivertears form lonely lakes

Believe in your heaven’s fire
Admire the golden forests
Witness the phoenix’s birth
Have faith in the ice sea’s depths
We die and become one

Charcoal black clouds envelop endlessly
Weary life journey heading always
To birthplace of death
The road darkens, horizon nears
Lake glints softly blue
Sacred spell never to be broken

Believe in your heaven’s fire
Admire the golden forests
Witness the phoenix’s birth
Have faith in the ice sea’s depths
We die and become one

Swiftly carried by northwind
The dead’s song calls sweetly
Three-magics child tarries ever on
Northland lingers in her heart
Drowned in pools of dreams
Stream winds a way to the sea


(Arifa Isabel - January 2005)

Unhearted

Demons dance before my eyes,
How will I find a way to survive?
Everything always dies…

All is dark can’t get out,
However I scream and shout…
Trapped in here no doubt…

Cannot breathe or move…
Have nothing else to lose,
Guess I’ve now paid my dues.

Please say forgive and forget…
Or is that just a wish in death?
Destiny is regret…

Damn you all I’m so sad…
Worldly misery on my path,
And the death of my dad…

White flowers on a grave…
Memories around and deprave,
How I wish to be safe.

My heart lies far from here,
Surroundings to me so dear.
Whatever also I may further fear…

Comfort in a thought, I cry
And love will never be mine…
Need a place to…


(Arifa Isabel - September 2004)

Light

Darkness rages all around
Through my head and in my soul
Discomforting thoughts seek courage
I just search for some understanding
Safety in my mind a place to hide
Somewhere it should be, a refuge
Or stage for celebration
Walking down the corridor now 
Shadows move and attack
Beauty always fled this prison
Fear closes in, frozen I stand
Time slows and love for life cries out
Reaching out to people I love
Meaningless smiles fill my heart
Coldness takes me completely
Drifting off on shallow breaths
Seeing nothing, imagining sound
Trying to hear any kind direction
Falling and reality is lost
Swift cold breeze in my face
Vaguely deciphering some melodies
An angelic form appears, pure simplicity 
Gleaming wings and silver aura
I watch and listen, age old songs
Drifting through me and away with the wind
Utter silence suddenly, safety returns
He lifts a wing and turns, dissolves
Remembering his solemn gaze
Darkness returns and I wait


(Arifa Isabel - September 2004)

 

Madness at Peace

Eternal fire in my heart you are,
Source of my life-energy.
Kept me alive once… at a time long gone…
In the dark of this nightmare winter.
Lately feel… so cold,
Since you left these radiant walkways
Want you always here at my side,
The one for me to gently hold.
Oceans of flowers we watched together,
Now all wilted and dead,
Are today a barren field of grey. 
Lifeless now… yet beauty lies therein.
Where once ever was light…
Condemned to blindness we are.
Feeling quite satisfied… 
Towards the end of emotional suffering,
Too weary of craving thoughts.
I’ll come and find you, darling if I can….
Guide me where the day has died,
Where my life can’t go…
My soul is only dark and blank,
Lonely now…
Gladly saying hello to cheerful death.
In eternity walking by your side,
And search forever lost peace of mind.


(Arifa Isabel - July 2004)

*Painting by Heinrich Harder

The Curse

The fire of hatred scars my soul
As my thoughts wander to centuries past
From whence did I come to this earth?
This torture of endless years it seems
Somehow it's my living destiny
Immortality it once was bliss and satisfaction
I drown in their blood, cries and fear
I choose to live in this neverending darkness
Longing for the days of innocence and beauty
In children’s eyes and falling rain
Through with regretting and forgiving
For it's part of my future history


(Arifa Isabel - January 2004)