The Centre of Nowhere

Head churning with confusion,
Thoughts a chaos

Death - 
Majestic and infinite
Among infernal stars
The deathless
Each day clouded somber wishes

Heart ripped from my chest,
Dread takes me

Life - 
Contemplated veiling
And concealing of memories
The lifeless
Each day balancing nightmare's edge

Eyes running thick with tears,
Visions fade

Love - 
My hand in yours
Started a storm at sunset
The loveless
Each day in silent emptiness

Emotions unbound,
Escaping everywhere


(Arifa Isabel - December 2005)

Love Letters

Dead and cold, like leafless trees
Still forests, calm lakes, images of death

And nature’s sleep, frozen moments
Memories flowing out, feelings creep within

By ancient light and crying crowned
My admiring heart, touches winter

Hopes for a meaning, in the still life
Of one touch, one gentle thought

Held by love, the ice inside
Emotions hide, but words return

With first snow


(Arifa Isabel - November 2005)

Gone

All left is the image of your face
Don’t know how to miss you
Don’t want to miss you
Everyone leaves
Everyone hates
Everyone but themselves

The white rose on my knee
For someone I’ve never met…
Sadness in beauty
Sadness in pain
All I needed to say
Can never be said
Love in life
What is there in death?

All left now is me
But time flies
Softens the wounds, the pain
I never wished it
Never wanted it
Everything dies…


(Arifa Isabel - September 2005)

Approaching Summer

Seeing it in my mind
The sparkle in your eyes
A frosty sunrise in my soul
Hearing your voice
My spirit flies with every word
And I hold my breath
Happiness spreads in me
Your heartbeat my home
There’s fresh water far below
With rapids white and restless
Rumbling like my feelings
Quietly in the land
Holding on, letting go
Loving you, missing you
Dark, serene and precious
Light in the centre of my life
Hope giving, purest beauty

Slowly awakening now
The afternoon has faded
Looking ahead alone
The future strikes with fear
Remembering your touch
I shiver and close my eyes
A longing deep inside makes
Tears form in my eyes
They flow down my face
And rest in my neck halting
Agony at the gates 
Leading to my deepest thoughts
Little white flowers with
Sun-like centres growing
Between grass and weeds
At my feet while I listen
To the sound of water running

An owl lives in this tree
That I’m leaning back against
It goes hunting in the night
Swiftly gliding through the air
Silent, unseen until the second
It snatches its prey
Each time the sun goes down
In faint shimmering nightlight
A little creature dies
A sudden chill is in the air
I wrap my arms around myself
Yet already cold inside
Should I let you go to find
Another to love and hold
A slight breeze moves my hair
And whispers in my ear
It’s not your choice or his


(Arifa Isabel - April 2005)

Darklight

Entering, there’s nothing…
Just the night and I… I walk.
A tree appears before me
Its bark rough and dry,
Its limbs overshadowing
In the night, disappearing.
Glints of colour, could be
Faintly glittering in moonlight,
A crown on each shadow’s rim.

Intenser I look, more
And more they spring out…
Saying things uninterpretable.
Their speech and call I guess,
Slowly like my sight
Consciousness changes, something
Deep inside awakens.
Clearer my sight clearer perception
One thousand million times…

I hear their voice inside,
Turning away overwhelmed
Walking through the semi-dark.
Shades of shadow, await, enclose
Brown and black and gold.
There’s a sound of a stir
A rustle shatters peaceful silence
In my heart, my breath stops, 
In a fragment of fear.

Something’s alive closeby
And unseen…
Frozen, waiting, expecting.
Stronger my heart, relief
Gains, cold air turns, skin warms.
Trickling sound of water
Gliding over rocks and pebbles
Feeding the green, inspiring
Life in the ground beneath.

My transparent flesh
The sound cleanses,
My feelings, my mind I can see.
Mirroring each drop, thoughts 
Become mine, where they go
Or linger in the light dark,
I’ll find out, discerning
One thousand million stars
More than diamonds sparkle.

Like crystal gleams, eternally
In the water running
By my feet, reaching.
Flesh meets the fresh glitter 
Like satin touching, chilling
I touch my forehead…
It induces, me to settle down
Near it in old light only reaching
Now, us beings of cruelty and hate.

The nightblue above, lilac 
Shades creeping,
One thousand million shards
Trickle above, could there be
Could they have seen,
Somewhere in the expanse
Maybe just one,
A creature pure and clear like
My thoughts a moment before?


(Arifa Isabel - April 2005)

Thoughts of…

Those words make me admire… 
You
More than anything I’ve ever respected…

That dark hair makes me adore…
You
More than anything I’ve ever loved…

Those songs make me appreciate…
You
More than anything I’ve ever longed for…

That smile makes me want…
You
More than anything I’ve ever cherished…

Those thoughts make me caress…
You
Slower than you’d be able to endure…

That gentle touch makes me accept…
You
Before I even know you…

Those blue eyes make me miss…
You
Faster than you or I can blink…

That breathing makes me sleep…
Next to you
Forever in my dreams…

Your presence lightens my existence…
More 
Than anything I’ve ever expected…


(Arifa Isabel - April 2005)

In The Dark

Her grey eyes shine
like omens of death.
They ever searched the sea
for a sign, ever.
Within them captured deep 
sadness, despair
but strength unseen.
Their beauty just
seldom witnessed here.
By the sea, never they shine
with light of old
and mystery grown.
Reminiscing of fate before.
In them, past lingering.
Fate befell on the isle
doom alike, the same.
Abandoned for war.
The white tree growing
watched.
Her grey eyes now shone
in weariness, ever.
And the elven bird’s song
relentlessly sent forth.
Bitterness arose where
knowledge decayed.
Cast in the depths
crystallized by
the burden of grief
and joy once known.
Hope perished together
alongside wisdom.
Of that same light
of happiness, vanished.
They shine no more, never.
Too great the burden.
Of no avail the child
whose laughter faltered.
Ever.


(Arifa Isabel - April 2005)

Blackness

The circle is round
Oh? Do you say wondering
With eyes wide open
Ignorant of cause
And effect connected
Perhaps not ignorance
But fear of failure
The mind tries masking it
By introducing colours
And shades reflecting
Convincing our conscience
We can all go ahead
Destroying our world in peace
Without punishment or death


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)

Hopeless

The waves desire me
Will or do I desire them
Would I let them and surrender

The waves come to me
However they can and will
They’re death in physical form

The waves tell untruths
Hoping to weaken the heart
Shake the soul, unstable

The waves are beautiful
Like sirens in fisherman’s tales
Singing sweetly threatening

The waves are in our hearts
Awakening sadness and insecurity
To us it’s fate to be tempted

The waves we must weaken
Stop them at the borders of
Our mind strong as steel

The waves come to us
As flowers in grassy places
Fresh as snowy air and moist

The waves slowly cause our mind
To rust, crumble, perish
Only ruined hope left behind

The waves feel our inner strength
And anticipate our weakness
And hate, destroying the steel

The waves are deceiving
Obscuring thoughts, turning them
Towards forgetfulness and bliss

The waves we try to obstruct
With joy, prayer and belief
Always in vain attempting


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)

Forever

Screen transparent, maybe
Might we pass through or
Is it just a flicker
In the expanding mind
Desiring to be like the
Wind, unknown origin
No boundaries of stone
Or earth or tree
Ever free and lawless
A mystery created
By the wonders of the world
Shaped in our thoughts


(Arifa Isabel - March 2005)