Ending

Drifting away I feel the closeness
The darkness folding itself around me
Comforting and familiar beyond
Anything I’ve ever felt before
Warmth, security and tenderness
A rush of wind across my face
It soothes the hurting feeling
I have felt since that day
When you left this mortal world
I can almost see you sleeping
Facial expression, utmost peace
I’m there once again
This time knowing how you feel
Never letting go of this sensation
Living life and never regretting
All we did, all a lie
All just dust in the wind
How come I’m here and you’re not
It seems incomprehensible
Yet I feel I know everything
About the sadness and remorse
That must have filled you
During that tiny moment
You were forced to say farewell
To all emotions and memories
All gone until the universe would
Let you become a god in yourself
You always had the knowledge
Of being from another world
I refused to acknowledge, pretended
You would never find out
About this never ending torture
This place we call home
Being just another hellish game
Played with happiness and hate
By all unknowing of the truth
Your always smiling face
Forever branded in my mind
You endured the stares
Of all who did not understand
All those nights I held you close
Attempting to convince you
One day all would be willing
To take that step and listen
But that day never came
It slowly tore you apart
From inside until nothing was left
To keep you on your feet
Your smile slowly faded, disappeared
Yet still you remained
Here with me, holding me
When I needed you to
But that ceased completely
We never found out why
Cause that was the end
Of your time spent with me
Sharing insecurity and happiness
Passion and wonder about
A bleak world that ruined a soul
Unlike anyone we ever knew


(Arifa Isabel - October 2003)

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